111. If that so...
Assalamua'alaikum and Very Good Day Readers..
How's life mates? Hopefully, everything went well. I don't know why I post this entry. I don't have any ideas in sharing the information for a time being. Just a relief by writing something that I never know what is all about. Suddenly, I feel very dejected. I also don't know why it's happens. Me myself couldn't find the reason behind all of those feelings that play around inside me right now. What the world..? Haaisshh. Allahuakbar..!
Few days back, I started to miss all the memorable things that I had gone through during my undergraduate at IIUM. I started to miss my old friends. Every single step that I took in this university will remind me all the memories remained. All the saddest and happiest moments appear one by one. Then, the inferiority started caught after me. Thinking of their life is getting better more and more, their successful in their career become more ameliorate day after day and their life become happy year after year. However, Alhamdullillah. I'm really happy for them. At least, they are representative of IIUM Alumni as well as representative of Muslims community. Insya-Allah.
What makes me worry and feel dejected is all about me. I really don't know how to express it. But, it's enough to say that I'm not really OK right now. I'm still thinking how to improve myself in everyday life. Who am I in the next 10 years. How to communicate with people around me without hurting them, how to befriends with people until last forever, how to express how much I appreciate people around me, how to be look more confidence so on and so off. How...?? :'(
I really wanna demolished all the bad thought that play around in my mind. Deep in my heart, I really impressed to those people that superior in their life. Look confidence and matured in handling things. Not like me at all. Thus, I started to feel inferior more and more.... :'(
However it is, I'll try my best in improving my quality of life. Trying harder by stepping out from the comfort zone. Survive for the challenging times and have guts to go through all the hardship. Because this is called life. We don't know what will happened in the future. I really hopes that I have strong enough to move on. May Allah guide me all the way. I wish I could stop thinking the negatives side. Be positive in whatever you do..! Yes..! You must change your life. You can't change others but only you can change yourselves..!
Hidup biarlah jangan menyusahkan orang. Hmmm.. okay lah. I don't know what else to say about. That's it. Sorry, this post is too emotional. Nothing to do with you guys. It's just me that have internal conflict which is sometimes I can't handle it. hohoho. That's all. Till we meet again. Hidup baik-baik semua. Salam juang..!
Thanks for reading,
Ma'assalamah wa ilal liqa'...:)